So I pick up and drive the family christmas tree up from the Home Depot (we had a gift certificate) at Serramonte in my 1987 convertable VW Cabriolet. I get home, manhandle the tree out of the car and up the stairs forgetting that I've left my gym bag sitting on the stoop in front of my house.
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Now this gym bag is a piece of crap with sweaty clothes in it and semi-old basketball sneakers. However, it also contains a nice leather work notebook/portfolio folder with all of my notes and important papers in it for a project on which I've been working for the past 6 months. If that gets lost I am going to go crazier than a shithouse rat.
I realize what I've done about 1.5 hours later, after putting together a crib for my as yet unborn second child, and walk downstairs. I get to the stoop and see my gym bag, which is now strangely zipped up (I never zip it up) and sitting there. I unzip it and find that some hooligan miscreant has stolen my sneakers and my notebook. This sends me into a not so silent tirade of profanity on my stoop. How do I recreate all of that lost work? What do I tell my boss? I am fucked.
A second later, I look deeper into the bag and realize that the thief has actually taken the time to perfectly and individually rip out every single written page of notes from the notebook and leave it there in the bag, intact. The hugest smile leaps to my face and now I'm actually looking to thank this nefarious angel.
SO THANK YOU EVIL YET CONCIENTIOUS FUCKFACE FOR A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!